Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Parenthood is tragic

A friend of mine, a very tough and strong looking man, is sending his little girl to boarding school.  He sent an email to a close cycle of friends this morning telling us how he bawled my eyes out last night just thinking this will be the last week he will be driving his girl to school.  Must be due to something in the air - it triggered a wave of replies and almost drove some moms and dads into tears.  This little note from a mom struck a chord: 
Parenthood is tragic - in no other relationship would anyone work so hard to push the ones that he or she loves so much to go so far away ... and we're so unprepared when we succeed ... 
 How true it is.  Parenthood is tragic.

12 comments:

ulaca said...

How old is the child? If they're old enough to make an informed decision about continuing their education abroad, all well and good. But some children get sent away at a very tender age and, arguably, never fully get over it.

W said...

The kid is 13 going on 14. Very close to her parents though, she is independent enough to make her own choice. I'm not sure whether it is only true to my little cycle of friends or it's a common phenomenon, it seems that boys generally hate the idea of leaving their parents but girls are keen to go abroad. My wife's boss is trying hard to persuade her 14-y-o daughter, who's just got herself admitted by a famous boarding school in England, to finish secondary schooling in HK.

Aileen said...

Why the boarding school argument please, just cos it's a good school? My son's not yet 3 and a half, so technically I have like, 10 years to go, but I had never thought about him going abroad to study (til college) before your post...

W said...

We never intend to send our girl to go abroad to study before college. But, if she really wants to go, I'll say yes (not sure what my wife will say though). And, my dear Aileen, ... what should I say ... 10 years to go is ... just too soon. You will be gutted by the rate Rockstar grows.

Gweipo said...

Sitting in the bus this evening (car is sold) my son cuddled up to me, and I said to him, "I'm going to make you sign a contract that you'll always do this" and he said "of course I'll always do this" and I said - ah, but what about when you're a big rebellious teenager and you hate me?
And he said "always"

I hope so, I can't imagine them not being around me. I know a lot of broken people as a result of boarding schools. I wouldn't think of it for them before the IB.

W said...

Gweipo, trust me, when R is a rebellious teenager, you can't wait to send him to a boarding school.

ulaca said...

No hard and fats rules about these things. Our girl wil go to booard at my old school in England next year for the IB Diploma. She can't wait.

Gweipo said...

Hang on, everyone told me for girls the first 12 years were easy and then it got hard and for boys it was the other way round.
So no way is he going to be a rebellious teenager!

Anonymous said...

Parenthood is not tragic. Wait until your children take you to yum cha with you grandchildren.

Anonymous said...

Parenthood: it's a tragic-comic, sometimes melodramatic. It always ends in someone's death (as parents, we hope ours).

I am very happy watching my kids grow and mature. I don't think that the general Western meme that all teenagers go through a rebellious "sturm und drang" period is true. Not for myself and (so far, touch wood) not for my kids 13 & 15.

I look forward to watching them go out into the world as young adults.

W said...

Thanks for all the comments. I guess I should write more about parenthood/fatherhood.

Parenthood is only tragic for being so rewarding and overwhelming. I for one am forever grateful for being made a father, as I mentioned in a older post: http://gkz.blogspot.com/2010/06/on-fatherhood.html

J.Stones said...

It is normal really to cry often times when your child, especially when you are the one taking care of them, is separated to you when you send them to a boarding school . But do not worry too much because this will one way you can help your child become a better person. You will see when she comes home; she will really thank you and love you more after the opportunity you have given her.

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